Thirty-one year old poet Mr Gerrald Oliver Pettigrew has been flying above the city since early this afternoon, causing a general disturbance and commotion among the citizenry. The matter first came to police attention when a spat fell from the sky near Charing Cross. This seemingly isolated incident was compounded when several members of the public complained of a figure, “bohemian in appearance”, weaving about a church spire in an effusive manner. A spokesman for the police described Mr Pettigrew’s behaviour as “highly dangerous and probably illegal”, but so far all attempts to capture the wordsmith have failed.
Mr Pettigrew’s maid accounted that Mr Pettigrew had displayed no unusual behaviour before beginning his flight, instead suddenly and spontaneously floating out of the window of his upstairs study while trying to find a rhyme for “snapdragon”. No record of similar behaviour in Mr Pettigrew’s family is known to exist. Experts say that property prices are unlikely to fall as a result of the incident, though persons of a sensitive temperament, such as unmarried women and Methodists, are advised to stay in their homes until a further statement is issued.