Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891

Lettres

Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

Bucking & Cump, Picture Publishers

Penned upon the 30th of July, 2011

It has long been academic consensus that sex was invented in 1972 by Mrs Deirdre Sex, a fitter-and-joiner’s wife from Clapton-on-Sea, Rutland. The recent discovery of an extant product catalogue dated to 1924, detailing publications depicting certain acts previously thought unknown in the inter-war period, has challenged this belief and created a rift in contemporary debate. We take neither side in this affair, but merely reproduce the text of the catalogue, that the facts may be generally known.

BUCKING & CUMP
PICTURE PUBLISHERS
1924 releases for the curious gentleman!

BLACK MASS – A glimpse into the rituals of young lady Satanists.
CIRCUS STRONG-MAN – The circus has come and so have the performers!
FLAPPER JOYRIDE – Two bad girls take a trip into town!
FLAPPER HAYRIDE – Two good girls take a trip out of town!
FLAPPER BEARDRIDE – Two hairy girls take a trip to Antwerp!
INSURANCE CLERK – He negotiates his secretary’s premiums!
THE INVENTOR – You won’t believe what his machines can do! (No actual machines.)
ARCADIAN ROMANCE – Two lovebirds romp in a corn orchard.
HOT BUTTERED CUMPS – Starring Mrs Cump as Miss Cump.
PARIS GIN DIVES – Sizzling French criminals play quoits for their best girls.
SAVELOYS AT THE SAVOY – Bright Young Things bond over batter sausages.
CYCLISTS COLLIDE – Passions flare in the wreckage of their bicycles!
OLD MAN RIVER – Manifestation of the Platonic concept of the Mississippi takes a young lady against a bench.
AT HER TOILET РYoung lady applies makeup to her face, d̩colletage.
DREAMING OF ELFLAND – Moustached bus driver goes to dance bar.
HER GENTLEMAN’S GENTLEMAN – Valet seduces master while mistress watches from dumbwaiter.
SEX REVOLUTION – Women seize control of palace and take off their clothes!
IN HIS HAREM – Odalisque makes beds, fills jugs, carries firewood.
BAD NUNS – Ribaldry in a Hungarian convent!
NAUGHTY HABITS – The sequel! (Assembled from file footage.)
MEDI̠VAL DUNGEON РTorturer falls into own trap!
HOW TO CONSTRUCT A VIOLIN – Talking guide to the luthier’s own trade secrets.
ONE THOUSAND BUMS – The secret room full of bottoms!

For more details, write to our distribution office, overleaf!
Serious enquiries only please. No pussyfoots.


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