Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891

Lettres

Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

Fictional Feasts and Genuine Journeys

Penned upon the 30th of December, 2011

Hullo hullo hullo – hope those Christmas-celebrators among you had a splendid Christmas, and non-Christmas same had a splendid non-same! Ours was a joyous if slightly manic inter-familial gathering, up until our little slice of the world was battered by freak storms – put a bit of a literal dampener on things. Still, an overall success! Though my dear beloved pater did rather bemuse us by preparing a round of prawns in our kitchen. On the one hand, he’s serving tasty entrees to our guests! On the other hand, it’s not far from some classic Monty Python – something with Michael Palin in a crumpled mac and flat cap. “YEAH GIDDAY MISSUS, my name’s Gavin Bile, d’yer mind if I rip the bowels out of these crustaceans in yer sink?”

On that unappetising thought, I have a guest post over at Denise M. Baran-Unland’s BryonySeries blog! You’ll recall Ms Baran-Unland from our previous interviews, and the BryonyBlog is a dashed good read! My guest post addresses the subject of meat and its eating, from the sour flesh of the boggart to the gamey spoils of the satyr. Essential reading for the conscience-stricken carnivore, the protein-deficient vegetarian, or anyone who really just hates magical creatures.

Sometimes, I make things up and write them down here – things like Cornish burlesque dancers, or will readings, or Egyptian triumvirate deities – and sometimes, I don’t have to; I can report faithfully on true events which put my own inventions to shame. After the clamour of Christmas, we slipped out of town, hoping to enjoy some quiet time in the country. Instead, we found miles of salty scrubland, occupied by tent- and caravan-cities packed thickly, patrolled by everpresent constables. Biker gangs stalked the roads, while lionesses lurked just beyond, awaiting the unwary. All this not days after hail the size of stones fell and the streets and subways flooded, turning rescue vehicles into submarines. Quoth Ms Merah, “if this is Armageddon, I want my money back.” Bonkers!


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