Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891


Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.


Penned upon the 29th of May, 2005


Captain Chooke, Sir Dreal and Tsarina Kathryn the Great of Karlton North were visited today by a variety of celebrated figures, in numbers not seen since the (diastrous) launching of the HMS Without-a-chance last year, as well as masses of admirers. Our own society reporter, Clonstance Fuggerey, was present to witness the opening of the grandest private residence in the city.

Aunty Nancy of the Hashishin was seen, dragging upon a cigar and dazzling devotees with her royal purple locks.

Kaiser Whim and Adam the Artificier by Royal Appointment were spotted with Captain Chooke, studying the chamber music of the Czech people upon his Inter-net Device.

NZA and GRZA, followers of the ancient cult of T, appeared out of the night looking sinister and followed by a trail of indistinct black mammals.

Hoo, an activists for vagabond’s rights of some notoriety, worked the gramophone for much of the evening. No complaints were recorded.

Captain Chooke was noted taking Admiral TurnHer aside late in the proceedings to show her a Moving Picture.

Swept up in the ceremony of the occasion, Madam C of Madam C’s House of Pain swept up Captain Chooke‘s instrument and began to play the Blues!

All guests stated that they were “delighted” with the affair, with the exception of the second mistress of Louis XIV’s mistress, who had slipped and drowned in the wine-bucket.

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Commentary upon “From the Times: DAZZLING SOIREE UNVEILS CHOOKE MANOR”

  1. Pantson was heard to remark,

    Upon the 2nd of June, 2005 at 8:45 pm,

    Daniel Chapman of Graham St Silvan? Could it be?

  2. Sir Frederick Chooke was heard to remark,

    Upon the 2nd of June, 2005 at 8:55 pm,

    And whom are you?

  3. wow was heard to remark,

    Upon the 3rd of June, 2005 at 10:00 am,

    i have a feeling that that was the person i was talking to, so we are in agreeance as to who he is, but who are we?

  4. Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs was heard to remark,

    Upon the 4th of June, 2005 at 8:56 pm,

    Jollisome well-wishers? Or scandalous spectres of the good sir’s sordid past?

  5. Gloria Rebecca was heard to remark,

    Upon the 26th of June, 2005 at 3:06 am,

    I stumbled upon this website while searching for the definition of “swarray”, which I did not find in any dictionary. Are there other specllings of “swarray” and what is the origin of the word. Thank You.

  6. Sir Frederick Chooke was heard to remark,

    Upon the 26th of June, 2005 at 3:12 am,

    Dear Impolite Reader

    ‘Soirée’ – ‘An evening party or reception’!

    Yours Faithfully,
    Sir Frederick Is Not A Hand-Cranked Stranger’s-Questioning-Answering Engine Chook

Further remarks are not permitted.