Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891

Lettres

Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

A Tale of Persians and Wasps

Penned upon the 2nd of November, 2005

I do apologise for my prolonged absence. The honest truth of the matter is that I was kidnapped by Sufis intent on retraining me as a spy in the house of Saxe-Coburg, and I had to battle my way overland to Cairo, underland to Morocco and then underwater to Reykjavik.

But on to the interesting news – today was very hot. So hot, in fact, that I needed to wet my whistle, and after I’d done that I decided to have a refreshing drink as well. As I strolled along, supping at a pint of Leopard Oil, I was reminded of life as a small boy, back in the mid-Baroque era. My mother would always warn me not to drink sweet drinks outside on a warm day. The reason, she explained, was that wasps would be attracted to the sweetness of the drink and drink it all while you were looking away, then replace it with wasp jelly. Upon drinking this toxious substance, you would grow yellow and black fur all over your body and sprout mandibles and antennae, and end up looking exactly like the Minister for Finance and Administration. A dire fate indeed!

Oh, a short sub-note. I turn Three-Hundred-and-Seventy-Five on the 19th of this month. Readers in good standing are invited to attend to my town-apartment for brandy and amphetamine cigars.


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