Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891


Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

A reading from The Fop’s Handkerchief Code

Penned upon the 15th of February, 2007

A sumptuous compendium of wearable cyphers with which, alongside the languages of flowers, hats, fans and schnauzers, one can subtly announce one’s inclinations and interests.

If my pocket square is ___, I enjoy _____.

White – Talking about shoes.
Light blue – Impromptu dancing, sailing, eating muffins.
Pale green – The study of tribal cultures, promenading, masochism.
Navy – Disliking everybody, pink champagne, syphilis.
Maroon – Opera, solving mysteries.
Crimson – Swing jazz.
Black – Usurping the mediocratic bourgeoisie, spurning the company of women.
Powder pink – Cucumber sandwiches sans crusts, riding, carpet.
Dark green РFl̢nerie, politics, opium.
Paisley – Mysticism, cookery.
Violet – Baklava.
Pre-folded – Kicking orphans, stealing from kittens.

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Commentary upon “A reading from The Fop’s Handkerchief Code”

  1. Capt. Z.W. Wolfenburg-Kross was heard to remark,

    Upon the 16th of February, 2007 at 10:34 pm,

    What then of blue polka dots on a yellow field, in a straight fold?

  2. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 18th of February, 2007 at 3:35 am,

    Picnicking, frolicking, reading the racing papers.

  3. Meaghan was heard to remark,

    Upon the 14th of April, 2007 at 4:34 pm,

    What of gold paisley? The detail is a sienna/umber colour.

  4. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 14th of April, 2007 at 4:41 pm,

    “There’s no sense in complaining, mother. Marcel and I are moving to Budapest to become maritime engineers and sodimistes and there’s quite simply nothing you can do about it. Now, put down that alsatian and act your age.”

  5. Mellifluous Ink was heard to remark,

    Upon the 8th of August, 2008 at 2:49 pm,


    What about lace? Does lace add anything to the meaning of the colour?

    What about folds?

    Sir, this list is woefully incomplete! I do protest! I have an extensive pamphlet on the handkerchief code of the Denim-Trouser-Wearing American Man, but I have no way to decipher the much more diverse and doubtlessly more nuanced Handkerchief Code of the Foppish Gentleman.

  6. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 16th of August, 2008 at 2:57 pm,

    You’re quite right, of course! There’s still a serious guidebook to be made from this, and by gum, I should do it.

Further remarks are not permitted.