Hello, readers! You might have noticed FrillyShirt having fits. Some small but vital component has sprung its confines, if not this mortal coil, but fear not; we’re working on it as fast as able!

In the meantime, an observation: metric measurements are, generally, the most sensible. Compare metres, which follow in common usage the pattern .001, .01, 1, 1000 – with further multiples where required – with feet, which follow .083, 1, 3, 5,280 (6,076 nautical). When measuring people, though, feet serve perfectly well, with most adult humans fitting between 5 and 6. Similarly, horses are measured in hands, which have served horsefolk well for many years. By the same token, schnauzers are measured in elbows, with the average miniature schnauzer measuring four elbows tall, and giants standing as high as eight and a half. It just goes to prove the old proverb, “no-one e’er told the tale of speaking more sense than a schnauzer.”

(The elbow should not be confused with the unit ell, which refers to the forearm, and is used for measuring forearms.)