Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891

Lettres

Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

Am Still Alive (Further Filler)

Penned upon the 9th of April, 2009


IGNORED AT PARTIES?
Any child could tell you that you need LEOPARD OIL.
Leopard Oil contains ZEST, HOOP-LAH and
ARGH CRIKEY to make you the Centre of Attention!
YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO NOT PURCHASE AND PAY FOR ONE TUB OF LEOPARD OIL.
Make them say “Dear Chr*st, let’s look at her!”
Leopard Oil is a Fully Patented Product of Sir Frederick Chook’s Leopard Oil Co. Leopard Oil not recommended for use by those suffering under a nervous condition, such as Symbolists or citizens of the Confederacy.
(Originally posted on the 8th of August, 2006)

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Commentary upon “Am Still Alive (Further Filler)”

  1. Meaghan was heard to remark,

    Upon the 12th of April, 2009 at 9:33 pm,

    What does one do if one gets too much attention at parties (such as when they don’t realize everyone can see down their top during a game of Twister and is fixing the game to see if said cleavage will burst free and is asked after by their cup size by party guests for years after? *paper bag*)?

    Surely this is a commercial opportunity that cannot be ignored?

  2. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 13th of April, 2009 at 10:05 pm,

    That… is quite a story. I’d probably suggest something involving shooting your way out.

  3. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 16th of April, 2009 at 3:47 am,

    In fact, I’ll be damned if there isn’t a market for that as well. The Patented Bosom-Revolver, greased with Leopard Oil for ease of storage. Defuses 9 out of every 11 known awkward situations, and 5 out of every 9 known explosive devices. “They’ll Be Looking Right At It And Never See It Coming!”

  4. Melanthios was heard to remark,

    Upon the 16th of April, 2009 at 9:22 am,

    That dark-haired swell looks quite fetching. Do you know his address?

  5. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 20th of April, 2009 at 8:39 pm,

    Now that I look at him, he looks like an elf into military chic. The cross tie is a classic uniform standard, after all. I think he needs a name.

Further remarks are not permitted.