Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891


Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

I’m Married!

Penned upon the 23rd of June, 2009

Yowza! I’m married! Ms Merah made an honest man of me, as they say, on Saturday the 20th. I’m still giddy, giggly and, er, girdy, but I’ll try my best to present a coherent narrative, and to give credit where credit is most certainly due.

Totally married, yo. Photo by J Studios.

You’ll recall that Ms Merah and I were engaged back on Agricultural Reform Day, and we’d since been planning – sorting the wheat from the considerable chaff that is the wedding industry. We succeeded in skirting the pitfalls that are commercial venues, instead returning to an old favourite which has been invaluable in my past historical study, Villa Alba Museum – which is, you’ll recall, a marvellous example of, nay, a shrine to, the Aesthetic Movement’s role in Australian art. The Villa housed the ceremony, and the reception followed at the Kew Returned Services League – a beautiful old building, as you can see.

How can I even begin to describe the day? Chronologically, I suppose; our first port of call was The Lockworks, where Ms Merah, her attendant Ms Nix and I had our hair duded up to the nines. The ladies looked wonderful, and I daresay even my unruly shag came out looking quite smart. Next, we met my best man, known to FrillyShirt readers as Madam C, and her beau, as well as Ms Merah’s folks and brother. Everyone claimed a door as their dressing room, turning the house into something not entirely unlike a Buster Keaton film. Ms Merah wore a Regency dress in cream silk embroidered with Indian beading, along with a violet-coloured coat, plum-coloured shoes, a crystal necklace and a white orchid in her hair. I personally wore a dark grey single-breasted frock coat, with checked trousers, a deep blue double-breasted waistcoat of my own design, with a paisley’d shirt, peacock-feather tie and suede ankle-boots. Ms Nix wore a deep green rockabilly dress with fur wrap, and Madam C matched in a tail-suit with deep green waistcoat. As we prepared, our delivery arrived from White Moss Florists: bouqet, corsage and boutonni√ɬ®res.

Finally, we finished dressing, making up, knocking on doors and then being gone when the occupant poked their heads out, &c., and were able to hop in the 1925 Studebaker, provided and driven by the charming David of Vintage Fun Hire Cars, and we were able to tootle along to the Villa! I swear, that car is just gorgeous – burgundy and gold outside, patterned and fringed inside, and when people stopped in their tracks to admire it, it was all I could do not to lean out and call “Now, boy! I say, boy! Can you direct us to Tammany Hall?” At the Villa, we met Jessie Broome, of j [studios], our photographer, and Sarah Black, her accompanist for the day, and (to throw further confusion into the affair) a further Sarah, who was learning the trade! We set to work getting some rather nice shots as the guests began to arrive – you can see an early peek at our output here, and I can’t wait to see the rest.

Eventually, everyone was in place in the drawing-room, and we met with noted theologian and dear friend, Dr Merryl Blair, who would be leading us through the ceremony. Ms Merah, Merryl and I had collaborated in writing it, including Lord Byron, William Morris, Walt Whitman, St Paul and I daresay some Blakean influence as well. Oh! And most certainly some Austen, too. Madam C and Ms Merah’s brother Steve recited for us (Whitman’s “The Base of all Metaphysics” and Morris’s “Love is Enough,”) Merryl gave her blessing, and, well… *sniffle* …happy. The hands signed the paper, witnesses witnessed, and you can call me Sir Frederick Tanah-Chook now, if you please!

Some more photos, some quick nourishment and coffee, and then we were off in the car to the RSL. The function rooms there – already very handsome – had been set out with candles and flowers, and another Whitman quote emblazoned in gold on the red walls (thanks to Cool Art Vinyl for that centrepiece.) Finally, we had time to give to our wonderful friends and family who had come to show us their kindness – I really can’t express my appreciation. Our chum Adrian Maiolla mastered our ceremonies, and the Kate Lucas Quartet jazzed our hands. Ah, it’s all something of an ecstatic blur – the food, the wine, the cake!, good company, good music – but, thankfully, I believe all our guests took advantage of Jessie’s photobooth setup, so we’ll be able to admire their truly smashing eveningwear at our leisure.

Again, I must sincerely thank all those who came, or who sent their best wishes. Also, after we staggered home, giggling joyfully, we found that some of the cards had come loose from their gifts; every single gift is appreciated, and we know the source of most, but to help us get our thank-you cards in order, perhaps drop me a line letting me know what you gave in case it’s unclear? And anyone who took pictures, if you’re happy for me to host and share them – watermark them, if you like, so they can’t go walkabout – I’d be well chuffed if you could send them through!

The bride and groom would like to thank their families; Ms Nix and Madam C; Dr Merryl Blair; Berensen Tailors; dressmaker Dorreen Luxford; Sue Gunnersen and the Villa Alba Museum; Kew Returned Sevices League; Jessie and j [studos]; all the Wildilocks team; David and Vintage Fun Hire Cars; Novat Footwear; Vegan Wares; Complete Function Hire; Hudson’s Famous Food & Functions; Adrian Maiolla, the Kate Lucas Quartet; French Lettuce Patisserie; Circa Vintage; Cool Art Vinyl; ThankYou Gift Registry Services; and no doubt more which I’ll add as soon as I remember to! Watch this space.

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Commentary upon “I’m Married!”

  1. The Notorious L.Y.N.Z. was heard to remark,

    Upon the 23rd of June, 2009 at 7:36 pm,

    You know what I forgot to do? Check out your RINGS!!

    *much fnaring at crafty double entendre*

    No really, must remember to do that when I next see you. And cease attempting to be invited to a threesome with the Happy Couple :P

  2. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 23rd of June, 2009 at 8:42 pm,

    AKA Lyndsey Smalls, sometimes also going by LZA!

    We decided to be a bit old-fashioned and have our rings cast in gold – to preserve them, you know, and stave off warping and tarnishing. There aren’t many carats in our rings – not too fancy – just the right amount that they can stay solid. We’ll be sure to show you – one at a time or both at once, however you like.

  3. Professor von Explaino was heard to remark,

    Upon the 23rd of June, 2009 at 9:40 pm,

    Congratulations and best wishes to the both of you.

  4. Vasquez was heard to remark,

    Upon the 24th of June, 2009 at 3:24 am,

    CONGRATULATIONS! Tumbleweed took the liberty of showing me the wedding pictures. They are beautiful, you both look amazingly happy and I’m just sooo happy for you! :)

    I wish you a long, happy (that’s 3rd time of that word ;) life together and every wonderful thing it can bring you! :)

    Lots of hugs from Vas aka Anna, from Finland

  5. Meaghan was heard to remark,

    Upon the 24th of June, 2009 at 4:55 pm,

    I saw the rings in passing and thought they were pretty!

    It was a fantastic day and we both enjoyed it immensely. I’m kicking myself now for failing to take any pictures (of the wedding couple and myself to show my grandmother), but I know I’ll remember a lot of the heady sights forever (like the decal at the reception).

    Thanks again for inviting us!

  6. The Notorious L.Y.N.Z. was heard to remark,

    Upon the 24th of June, 2009 at 6:24 pm,

    Oh those sound lovely! Yeah anything with a high enough gold content will end up a battered old wreck before the honeymoon’s even over hahaha. Stoopit soft valuables! But I knew you guys wouldn’t get something boring and predictable from Dunklings *retch* This is why we loffs you!

  7. Melanthios was heard to remark,

    Upon the 25th of June, 2009 at 5:53 pm,

    My felicitations, dear fellow! I would simply love to see a photo set or collection of this event. It sounds like it was a truly wonderful event.

  8. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 27th of June, 2009 at 12:47 am,

    Professor: Thank you!

    Vas: Hey, long time no see! Hugs and thank you very much!

    Meaghan: Most certainly our pleasure; so glad you enjoyed. You took advantage of the photobooth, yeah?

    Lynz: Are we still being rude? I lost track. Dunklings to me always sounded like some incredibly traditional, incredibly unhealthy foodstuff. Semolina balls fried in gravy; something like that.

    Melanthios: Thank you, old chum! There’s the photos linked above, and more on the way when they’ve been processed.

  9. Lady Julianne le Fay was heard to remark,

    Upon the 28th of June, 2009 at 7:25 am,

    Congratulations! Sounds like it was a wonderful day.

  10. Sir Frederick Chook was heard to remark,

    Upon the 1st of July, 2009 at 11:04 pm,

    Thank you kindly!

Further remarks are not permitted.