Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891


Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

A Very Interesting Holiday

Penned upon the 7th of August, 2005

Or, Sir Frederick Return’d From Inspecting Potential Country Estate

What ho, all. Sir Frederick here, accompanied by Admiral Shareall TurnHer. At last we present the report of our travels, headlong into the irresistable orbit. It all started back when, with a PLAN. A plan to escape the bitter, glumdrurious (this is a word I Invented myself, for description – it is a portmanteau of “glum”, “humdrum” and “spurious” – the lattermost a description of the word itself) confines of the Melbourne winter-time. So, we headed by way of the Daylesford lake – alas, ’tis landlocked, so we took the City-mobile.

Having stocked up well with Jelly-beans from the local apothecary, phonographic records and Cowboy Bebop, we made our debut on the Daylesfordian streets on Friday, where we were complimented on our fine attire. After settling in at the rather pleasing country cottage, to our suprise and delight we discovered that the local aristocrat’s palace boasted not only splendid eclectic decor but also a tasty menu. After we had supped, the hall quickly filled with Daylesford’s finest dancers, bearded and un-bearded, who funked it up with mixed dancing until the wee hours. After a good waltz, we retired to our cozy fire, and further still to our cozy bed.

The next day, we enjoyed a stroll around the town, inspecting the local countryside for farming/piracy potential, and made a visit to the local convent, which had been occupied by a militant fighting force of daguerrotype-machine-operators. Inspired, I have included some recordings (Here!) Pleased with our hard work, we enjoyed an hour-long bath and supped, the country air lowering us into deep slumber.

After awaking and breaking our fast viciously over the back of some croissants, we reluctantly returned to the smokestacks of the Melbourne sky, taking the scenic route to visit Castlemaine’s delightful prisons and Kyneton’s exotic waters. As soon as we devise a way of taking the galleon, we shall return and tow that adorable cottage back with us – leaving only a little pile of soap and towels – pirates rarely bathe – though this should have been obvious to you.

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