Sir F. Chook, Inventor of Leopard Oil

Likeness captured upon a daguerrotype machine in Japan, July 1891


Wherein the Author reflects upon certain topical & personal issues of the Day.

Bucking & Cump, Picture Publishers

Penned upon the 30th of July, 2011

It has long been academic consensus that sex was invented in 1972 by Mrs Deirdre Sex, a fitter-and-joiner’s wife from Clapton-on-Sea, Rutland. The recent discovery of an extant product catalogue dated to 1924, detailing publications depicting certain acts previously thought unknown in the inter-war period, has challenged this belief and created a rift in contemporary debate. We take neither side in this affair, but merely reproduce the text of the catalogue, that the facts may be generally known.

1924 releases for the curious gentleman!

BLACK MASS – A glimpse into the rituals of young lady Satanists.
CIRCUS STRONG-MAN – The circus has come and so have the performers!
FLAPPER JOYRIDE – Two bad girls take a trip into town!
FLAPPER HAYRIDE – Two good girls take a trip out of town!
FLAPPER BEARDRIDE – Two hairy girls take a trip to Antwerp!
INSURANCE CLERK – He negotiates his secretary’s premiums!
THE INVENTOR – You won’t believe what his machines can do! (No actual machines.)
ARCADIAN ROMANCE – Two lovebirds romp in a corn orchard.
HOT BUTTERED CUMPS – Starring Mrs Cump as Miss Cump.
PARIS GIN DIVES – Sizzling French criminals play quoits for their best girls.
SAVELOYS AT THE SAVOY – Bright Young Things bond over batter sausages.
CYCLISTS COLLIDE – Passions flare in the wreckage of their bicycles!
OLD MAN RIVER – Manifestation of the Platonic concept of the Mississippi takes a young lady against a bench.
AT HER TOILET РYoung lady applies makeup to her face, d̩colletage.
DREAMING OF ELFLAND – Moustached bus driver goes to dance bar.
HER GENTLEMAN’S GENTLEMAN – Valet seduces master while mistress watches from dumbwaiter.
SEX REVOLUTION – Women seize control of palace and take off their clothes!
IN HIS HAREM – Odalisque makes beds, fills jugs, carries firewood.
BAD NUNS – Ribaldry in a Hungarian convent!
NAUGHTY HABITS – The sequel! (Assembled from file footage.)
MEDI̠VAL DUNGEON РTorturer falls into own trap!
HOW TO CONSTRUCT A VIOLIN – Talking guide to the luthier’s own trade secrets.
ONE THOUSAND BUMS – The secret room full of bottoms!

For more details, write to our distribution office, overleaf!
Serious enquiries only please. No pussyfoots.

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